KATRINA JOINED TIM ARTHUR ON BBC RADIO LONDON

In November, Katrina was asked to come to the BBC London Studio to talk with the Radio Show host, Tim Arthur about her work as an End of Life Doula. Tim's first wife, Louise sadly died of a brain tumour when she was 28 years old and Tim talked openly about things he had found difficult during that time, especially as they were young parents.  He said they realised they were "going on different journies", having done everything together since they met.  She was having to come to an acceptance of her death and loss and he wondered if he would survive her death, be a good father and not be broken by his grief.  He talked of the journey towards death as an unknown one and that it had been so helpful and supportive to have someone to talk to about what was happening to both of them.  They were both offered grief counselling from the hospice caring for  Louise.  Tim felt that gave them time and a safe space to talk about their feelings.  He raises such an important issue because people who know they are dying in advance start grieving before the death and so do their relatives.  It is called 'anticipatory grief', and oftentimes, it is not understood by the family that they are indeed grieving.  There are so many things that are lost incrementally prior to a death and they are not all health related by any means.  Counselling can really help start to address those difficult emotions and also provide a conduit for conversations about what is happening, how they are coping with it and sharing their feelings.  Having an End of Life Doula can also be a way to be supported when a family member is dying.  Having someone like Tim talk about his grief openly on the radio is so helpful for other young (and older) men who find themselves in the same situation.